I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize
