he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
