Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
