So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
