so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it ðŸ˜
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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