I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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