Buhtt sex?
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
