Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
