Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
