if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Randomize
