If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i just made my gag reflex go away.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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