Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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