I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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