she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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