i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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