the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
