it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
