you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
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I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
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listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
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