We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I will be naked everywhere
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
