yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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