so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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