I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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