we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize