3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
