he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
