tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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