i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize