In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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