I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Sext me about skeletons
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
