So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize