do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
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