just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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