i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
