I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
