fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
