Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
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Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Vodka?
Forever.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
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