i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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