Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
