no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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