ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
It's no shave November. This is our time.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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