come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
