What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
