This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
