I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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