and i looked up. we had an audience...
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
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Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize