Whod you bang
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
