if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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