i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize