i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
