I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
