did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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