My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
