I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
