I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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