Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
The uberlube is also flammable
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
