Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
so explain again why im purple
no
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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