there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
The feeling are messing with the penis
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Randomize
