I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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