your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize