If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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