My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
